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Wednesday, March 8, 2023

Encounters

 


#Encounters

Two things that I'll never forget: the way you looked at me for the FIRST time, and the LAST time.
 
This is Maxine of Mindanao and let's call him ""Carl"" (not his real name).

Our path have crossed 10 years ago, that was June 22, 2011 to be exact. Oh! How could I forget that day?
3rd year college tang duha sa course nato nga Civil Engineering. I was a transferee and late enrollee as well.

You lend me your hand for a help but you took my heart and soul.

Our first encounter were very unforgettable. (That was for me hah! ^^) While I was too occupied strolling around in the campus since it was my first day and everything were new to me. Nagtagbo ta while you're drinking your favorite drink """"C2 Green tea-Apple"""" and our world has collided. Literally! Nagbangga ta and nayabo ang C2 nimo nga ge inom sa akong baby-pink-blouse. What a lucky day for me! Mura tawon og advertisement.

Me: Halaka sorry kaayo
C: Sorry miss...
Me: sorry ha, wala nako tuyoa. Adto ta canteen kaw palitan tka e ilis ana. Nangita man gud ko ahead of time sa akoa rooms and to familiarize the school. Wala ko kabantay.
C: okay ra miss pero imoha sanina, basa kaayo.
Then, I've realized how clumsy I am. Nangatawa ta like we knew each other for a long time. The feeling was so familiar yet very new. You handed me your gray hoody jacket para isapaw nako. Hahaha! Swerte ko kay prepared ka. And we went to the canteen, nag buy ko duha ka C2-Apple. Yes, tagsa ta. Peace offering kay ako man ang nakasala. You introduced yourself and so am I. Luckily, we are on the same course and major. What a coincidence! Classmates ta sa 2 consecutive subjects on that day and most of our subjects for the whole duration sa semester. I'll never forget that day- the day I've met my bestfriend and lover in one person. Since inborn man akoang ka friendly and tabian, we've talked a lot kay taas pa atong time.

I even told you, the catastrophe of my life in our very first encounter. You listened with arousing interest as if my story telling was all about-a-fairytale. But, nope! I told you that my parents got separated that's why I transferred. Nanguli me dri sa Mindanao kay hometown man ni mama apil pud akoa younger brother. Papa was with his new family. Ge baligya na namo amoa other properties to start our new chapter here. Gladly, you were there. Gi paminaw ko nimo while staring at me with your beautiful and tantalizing eyes nga ala Ian Veneracion. I felt so special on that day. Your stares are very comforting and will never forget that for the rest of my life. I found a friend in you. I found a home in a very unfamiliar place. 

You rescued me from emptiness...
____________________
Since sa very first time nga encounter namo ni Carl, always na me uban. He introduced me to his friends nga majority are our classmates pero naa pud me kalibutan lang na kami ra duha. We are fond of books and surprisingly one of our favorites na author was MITCH ALBOM. Nagka click me samot. Carl is rich but very down to earth. Daghan sila business and well known sa amoa City. Nag rent og apartment si Carl near sa school even 30 to 40 mins. ra ang ka layo sa ila Subdivision sa amoa school. Well, they can afford kay sapian man. Ako kay average lang so byahe-byahe everyday. Month of August, the very first time na nakalaag ko sa apartment ni Carl kay naa me by pair na task sa Structural Design unya we are partners.

C: Is it okay with you na sa apartment ta magbuhat Max?
Me: Yes carl, pwede ra? Di man kaha ko maulaw didto?
C: Oo, para peaceful ba then plastar. It was yours also kay baby sister man ka nako.
Me: What? unsay naka baby sister Carl na 8 months ra man atoa gap?
C: Edad ra ba atoa basis, my baby sister? How about the height? Hahahaha (ge ka taw-aw ko w/ matching hawid sa akoa ulo)
Me: Di ko mubo, towering lang jud ka for your age.
C: Reasons! Tana baby sister kaw.

He bullied me almost every single time of the day. But my heart is dancing from too much joy. Libog unia lagot. Dapat ma annoyed ko diba? Haaaay, my poor heart...

Every vacant time magtambay na me sa apartment ni Carl. Sometimes, daghan me but most of the time kami lang duha. Mag luto me, study, basa books, watch movies and mangaon. Cge pud me himo og Mango Float kay fave namo duha unia very creamy kaayo. We are siblings by heart. It seems like He was my brother from another mom. He was my confidant and so am I to him. One time, Friday afternoon He invited me over dinner sa ila home pagka Saturday.
C: Maximaaaaa! (Kusog kaayo iya tingog while ga tabo nako padung sa canteen kay gasabot me mag snack unia bag-o lang ko human sa akoa class nga behind since transferee ko).
Me: Maximooooo...
Hahahahhaa then naa mga students na nitanaw namo while smiling. Gesabayan nako siya sa ka bully, d ko papildi. 
C: wow! lumalaban si baby sister!
Me: dapat lang jud.
C: Ana ni mommy ba, e invite daw akoa friends sa balay ugma kay birthday niya- adto ka?
Me: Tarunga sad ko og invite, Carl. Napugus ra man ka.
C: Adto ta balay ha 7pm sundoon tka, Max.
Me: Ako ra? Sila d-ay uban friends nato?
C: Busy sila, ikaw ra wala ganap. Sundoon tka ha.
Me: Maulaw ko ninyo, Carl.
C: Tao man me, ikaw dli ?
Yes, inana siya. Nice guy sa uban but bully sa akoa! I thought, winner ko sa ka bully- not until nga nag ila me ni Carl. No choice ko, adto ko sa ilang mala palasyo na balay. Ka dato man d-ay aning bataa. Reality vs. Expection ko kay I thought ma ulaw ko maayo but I was wrong. Friendly and approachable iyaha entire family. Di mailhan na rich kaayo kay sabay and simple kaayo sila, mao pud nga si Carl versatile kaayo iyaha personality.

Fast forward: We are on our 5th year and last year in college. Mas nagka close me ni Carl. We have our random laag sa malls, mag watch me movies, and adventures. Pero walay kami, we are bestfriends nalimot ra sad ko nga bet nako siya before kay mego na kaayo me. Walay malisya na tawon. We love extreme adventures pud kaayo. Cge me tigom from our allowance to rent a room sa Dahilayan Adventure Park pag weekend then pagka morning kay mag zipline. If maka tgum, bsag kaisa lang sa isa ka month. Ganahan me na mag overnight kay nice ang ambiance sa Dahilayan jud esp. gabee. We slept together in one room para maka tipid pero tagsa me bed and honestly, walay himala na mahitabo. We are great friends. Mao na amoa reward sa amoa self every time we have achievements. Zipline jud na amoa gusto to release stress, bonus nalang ang uban rides (f much money) kay kayud kaayo ang Engineering, hagu! so need mag enjoy. Wala man pud hinoon easy or difficult na field basta mag pursigi lang. Sometimes, by the beach pud me. Mag hike sa bukid and biking. Wala pud me mga uyab pareha and some of our friends or kaila thought na we are in a relationship. But, we are just friends.
_______________
We graduated in college and got our license. Year 2017, we got our first job and kauban me work ni Carl. People around us always thought that we are in a relationship but we kept on telling them that we are just friends since college. We found new circle of friends but our friendship was special. We are happy and better when we are together. Not until when someone courted me, amoa workmate ni Carl. He asked me one time na mag dinner and I told Carl na dli ko makasabay niya uli kay naa ko lakaw. He smiled while saying ""enjoy, Maximaaa"". But on the next day, wala ko pansina. Ga labay2 ra sa akoa pag mag sapon me sa office ug 1 week me inato. Most of our time, naa pud me sa site so rare ra me ga sapon. Then, pagka Sunday afternoon He texted me.
C: Why?
Me: Why? Wrong send ka, Carl. Miss ko nimo no? 
C: Why manhid ka?
Me: Manhid about?
C: na feel nako...
Me: Carl...
C: Pag prepare, lakaw ta.

I was puzzled but in my mind, I knew it! He is playing with me again. Isa ra ni sa iyahang mga prank sa akoa. But, wala pay 1 hr. nana si Carl sa sala nag talked sila ni mama. Serioso kaayo nawong ni Carl when He found out na ready na ko.
 
C: lakaw sa me ni Maxine, tita ha.
Mama: Amping mo.

Walay tingog-tingog si Carl. Hantud ni abot me sa usa ka restaurant then nana reservation under his name. Prepared na kaayo and He ordered for us. Kabalo pud siya unsa akoa mga paborito kaonon.

C: kaon na maximaaa! Flowers oh!
Me: kaonon ko ni apil flowers, Carl? 
C: Ikaw bahala. (Hahahahahah kusug kaayo katawa)
Me: Bully kaayo ka hantud karon, di raba mamansin. Ambot nimo, bahala ka ah! Kaon ko og ako uy.
Carl: kaon sa ta, kay naa ko sturia nimo later. Nag sorry ko mao naa flowers ha. Sorry na, Xima ba! 
me: ambot nimo Carl, binuangan ra nimo akoa name.

After we had our dinner nikalit lang ka weird ang ambiance. Carl's face was so serious. Dli ko anad inana iyaha facial expression. To break the silence, I asked him.
Me: Okay raka? Salamat sa dinner ha.
C: Naa ko e sturia nimo Xima!- ikaw mag pay ani. (Hahahahahaha! ug ge kataw.an ko)
Me: Bahala ka, wala ko cash. Wala tanan!

C: I love you, Maxine. 

Me: okay raka? (Maojud na akoa na tubag).
C: I think, I'm not okay. I have lot of realizations. I like you since the first day we met. I respected you so much as a friend and sister kay dli ko gusto maguba atoa friendship and can't afford na mawala ka. Pero now, I can't imagine nga you're happy and dating with someone. Selos ko, gusto ko kita ra. Akoa raka, Max. Can you give me chance?
Me: ni nod ra ko. (Dli ko katoo, crush ko ni saona pero wala ko ga expect na same me og na feel)
C: so tagaan ko nimo chance? Give me 1 month... if dli jud nimo feel, limtan nako akoa na feel then balik ta normal. Okay?

But I've realized that life is beautiful but short. I wanted to savor every single moment in my life. ""Live each day as if it were your last!"" Ganahan ko ani na quotation so nag pa awakened pud ni sa natulog nako nga heart.
I said yes to Carl ug nagka-uyab me wala pa ni abot ang 
1 month nga pag court niya. We are an ideal couple back then. Kabalo na amoa friends and both family. We are madly in love. We have a lot of adventures since we can afford na. We travelled, dli lang sa Pinas but also sa other countries na dool lang sa atoa like Thailand, Indonesia, and Vietnam kay mao pa kaya sa budget. Year 2019, we decided to work abroad, advantange kay naa connections ang family ni Carl sa New Zealand. We processed our documents. He got his visa, but mine got denied. October 2019, nakalarga siya ug ako pabilin sa Pinas.

C: Dli nalang ko dayun, Maxine. Ako ra lugar?
M: lol! Apas ko dba? Ulaw sa family nimo aware na sila. Supportado ka nila, ga expect na cla pero una lang sa.
C: I'll miss you...
M: Ako pud Carl pero para sa future pud, dba? Kayahon lang ha.

""""Can we go back to the days our love was strong?
Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong?
Can somebody tell me how to get things back
The way they used to be?...""""

This song hits me so hard. It really meant for me. It defines what I felt inside. 

The first 4 months were okay. LDR-was-quiet-challenging yet our love and friendship were stronger (that's what I believed!!!) Until, I woke up one day without his calls, videocalls and even messages. Kuratan ko, wala ko maanad but I waited him. Pero wala,walay paramdam akong bestfriend nga boyfriend. So I decided to asked his mom, bahala ulaw. I went to Carl's home.

Tita: Yes, Max. He contacted me last night thru skype.
M: Okay tita. Salamat kaayo.

Then, Boom! Nitulo akoa luha. I went home dali-dali kay naghoot akoa heart. Wala pay confrontation nor words coming from Carl but I knew it! Something is wrong.
3 weeks later, I received a message from him thru messenger. First time ni nga ana kadugayon na walay paramdam since naglagyo me.

Good morning, Maxine. Sorry if it takes me a while nga nakaparamdam nimo. Sorry Max, you don't deserved me anymore. Nakasala ko nimo. Kaila man ka ni Janeth, dba? Taga Pinas pud- I got her pregnant. Sorry, need nako siya pakaslan. I was sad and naa siya. Sorry kay selfish ko and I love you! Mingawon ko nimo. Pls, take good care of yourself.

Me: As in? Unta prank ra ni tanan, Carl. Hopefully, isa ra ni sa imo mga jokes sa akoa pero can't do anything kay layo ta. God bless sa journey and thank you for everything. I'll be missing you. Take care! Wishing and praying for your happiness. (Nag hulat ko na mo response paka nga prank ra but wala na.)

June 25, 2020 was my flight pa New Zealand unta, excited nako ibalita kay Carl pero ulahi na ang tanan ug wala nakoy apason pa but d pud sure because of pandemic. My heart bleeds, walay kabutangan sa akoa kasakit. It seems like I lost the 2 important persons in my life. My bestfriend and boyfriend, but in one person. Our story has ended!

I've tried everything to forget him. Lisod pero kailangan!
I applied for work balik dri ra Pinas and luckily I got the job. Last March 2021, while nag laag2 ko sa mall-I saw Carl ug nag tagbo me. He is with someone and I guess, it was Janeth. Kaila kaayo ko ni Carl bsan pag naka mask and face shield. Kabisado kaayo nako siya.

Our eyes had met and that was the familiar looked He gave me during our first encounter. I'll never forget that for the rest of my life.

Nilakaw ko paspas kay nibalik ang sakit. As of now, I'm not sure if naa pa Pinas sila Carl. I'm still on the process of healing but I'm better than yesterday. 

To Carl, I've missed you so much. Sorry kay nadugay ko and I was not there sa panahon nga sad ka. But we can't bring back anymore the time. Nahitabo na. Dli jud ta destined as couple pero I'm so proud of you for chosing Janeth and your angel. You're such a good man and you're forgiven. Nasakitan lang ko because nawala akoang bestfriend. Pray for me nga makakita ko'g tao na more than pa nimo. Hope to see you, puhon. Not as a lover but as my bestfriend even impossible na.

To all readers, thank you for reading this esp. to the admin/s for giving me this opportunity to share here. We have to remember that dli lang jud sa kadugayon ang basehan para mag padayon ang mag couple or even friendship na mag last. It's not only about the memories nor feelings na gina hold nato but sa FATE na ge prepared sa Ginoo. We can't control everything around us. If naa man adversities nga atoa ma encounter, the best thing to do is to have faith in God and in ourselves nga makaya and malampasan ra ang tanan. Acceptance in everything, mao ra gyud na bahala dugay basta hinay-hinay.

Hope you're doing all fine! Thank you and May God bless you all.

-Maxine
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