Way back 1999 I was 12 yr.old that time, me and my mom go to somewhere to unwind our self and it is my suggesstion to relax because she became workaholic. She didn't notice that we're not bond anymore. Meanwhile when we're go to the place I've suggested I felt sleepy so my mom told me "sleep honey, you should gain more strength so that we could do our wanted to do" so I obliged. When I open my eyes I don't see anything, as I remember were together with my mom but when I call her name no one replies. I started crying, I don't know what to say, I don't wanna shout basin naa ra si mommy beside me, basin natulog ra sya beside me. I don't wanna wake her up, so I sleep again. Few hours later I woke up when I heard a familiar voice(it was my dad) but there's another one that dad call him "Doc".
Inner me: So I am in the hospital? What happen?. To answer my question I listen nalang what they've talking. The convo goes here:
Dad: Doc, how's my wife? And Jen? They will be okay?
Doc: Sorry Mr.***** your wife doesn't survive and luckily your daughter is surviving but she's blind. Naay bakal nakatusok sa iyang mga mata -------.
Wala nako ka dungog sa ubang gi sulti sa doctor because I passed out. Pag mata nakog balik, wala ko'y laing nahuna-huna-an kundi what the doctor said a while ago. MY MOM WAS DEAD AND ME IS BLIND, DAMN BLIND. Mura ko'g nabuang sig huna² ato that time why? Why me? Why my mom? Naa may uban nga mas karapatdapat sa nahitabo namo ni mommy. I was numb that time, I was crying all the time but ni samot noon ko ka hilak when I felt my dad hug me and said. "Honey, dad will do everything huh para makakita ka'g balik(while crying also), don't worry about your mom, she finally get rest. You know honey, mommy give me a message before she pass away
"Love, please take care of Jen, do whatever she want to make her happy and tell her that I love her so much. Sorry if that was the last time we bond bisa'g sa Kotse rato pero I'm so damn happy that Lord give me a time to be with Jen. I love you both, don't worry I would be your guardian angel."
Dad: I do whatever you want honey, tell me whatever you want. Stop crying.
Me: Dad, why? Why I suffering like this? Wla ko'y gi buhat na sayop man, I did my very best to be a good girl so that you and mom would proud of me but-----
Dad: Honey, we're so proud of you.
Me: Yeah I see pero why? Naa may daghan dira ahh? Whyy? Tell me whyy? Nganong kita man jud? Diba dapat ang mga bad person dapat ma in ani but why?Okay ra unta ma blind ko pero nganong gi kuha pa si mommy? It's unfair! It is really unfair! and I hate it!
Sige rako'g hilak, wla'y oras nga di ko maka hilak. Puro's ko pag basol nga what if wala ko natulog kibaw unta ko unsay reason nganong nahitabo to. When I ask dad nganong na in ato he told me " rest honey, you can't take it if I tell you ".
Na uli nalang mi sa amoa, wla gihapon ni sulti si daddy nganong na in ato to. All day hilak lang ko since I was blind ni undang ko'g skwela. Gusto unta ni daddy nga mag hire sya'g teacher for me para di nako mag adto² sa skwelahan like home school lang pero di man ko gusto, wa koy gana mo skwela tungod sa akong situation ug labi na wala na si mommy. Month pass, daddy is working halos di na mo uli, usahay if mo uli kadlawn na, maka mata rako nga nana sya kay maghilak always then naa'y e sulti² sa kaugalingon like murag naay ka sulti sa iyang kwarto. One time, tungod sa akong ka curious ni sulod kos kwarto ni daddy daan kay kung mo uli maka dungog ko unsay iyang gi buhat (hearing is my second chance) luckily ni uli si daddy that time, I was hidding somewhere para di ko makita niya. When he enter her room I hear he's crying and tell something " Love? Why you left me, us? You know you are more responsible than me in terms of business but you left me, I'm so freaking tired (cying) (I was listening and don't move para di ma distract si daddy) you know when I see Jen in her room, I felt I am not worth it to be her daddy. This is my fault eh why you've left, dapat ako unta to kay perme nalang ko mag salig nimo, perme pako magpa badlong nimo. Imbis naa rako diri sa balay para mag bantay sa atong anak but toa kos akong amego kuyog² ug travel like di pa minyo. Dapat sa pag travel namo ako ang na aksidente di kamo, dapat ako lang! Ako!ako! Ako! (Crying). Kung ni sugot pako nga mag bonding tang tulo that time edi di ni mahitabo ron pero wala eh mas gi pili pa nako ang akong kaugalingon keysa ninyo nga akong pamilya. I am so Immature! Damn immature. God nganong sya pa? Dapat ako unta oh kay ako ang wala'y kwenta aning pamilyaha. (Crying)
Ako wala ko naka agwanta, ni gawas ko sa akong gi taguan, I don't know where daddy is but I felt duol ra sya sa akong gi taguan.
Me: Dy? Why you blaming your self? (Wa jud nahunong ug tulo akong luha while nag barog)
Dad: Jen? Ganina raka dira? ( and I heard footstep towards me and then I feel a hug from him)
Me: Dad dont blame your self, maybe this time God give us chance to bond with and making memories because he know that I always bond with mom so for now it's time foryou . Dad we will make memories like mom and I had, siguro mas happy si mommy maka kita nga nag bonding nata.
Dad: (hug me more) I do my best para maka make tag memories but daddy will do a best for the company first, you know mommy was making it through by herself.
Me: Go daddy, I support you always. And that's for us so I'll go with your decision but promise me that we go out sometime for our bond.
Dad: yess I promise you that.
Na happy nako nga na okay na si daddy, after ato among pag tabi. Na usab napud iyang routine, sauna mo uli ug kadlawn but now mo uli na syag before 8. He do his best para mafulfill ang promise namo. Nanay tatay na sya kumbaga, thou naay maid diri pero lahi ra jud if sya nay mo care nako.
Ff. 2 years later, we're okay now, the scars in our past was healed. That time daddy was busy contacting someone para maka hibaw unsa nay update sa mo Donate ug mata. Yes you read it, month ago naay nj approach ni daddy daw na mo donate ug mata they asking if unsay type sa akong mata, daddy tell them the truth and the other details. Nakahinumdum pako sa gi ingon ni daddy that time
Dad: honey, I have some good news for you (while smiling)
Me: hello dad, what the good news?
Dad: We have a donation na, plus ka match nimo ang eyes.
Me: OMG it is true dad? You're not kidding right?
Dad: I'm not. And we still wait for the update cause not available pa ang mata for donation. And ingon sa ginang na mag wait ta ug few months. So patiently waiting lang ta.
Me: Yey! I'm so excited to see you dy, excited go to school and achieving my dreams.
Dad: You're not kid anymore, dalaga kana. Naa na'y manguyab nimo, once na makita naka in public for sure daghan na ang mo court nimo.
Me: Eh si daddy, wla pa na sa akong mind ang mag in ana, you're always be my man. Don't worry and if naa man gani they should court you first before me.
Dad: Owss basin mabayot na sila sa kagwapohan ko HAHAHAHHAA
Me: Wow dad now lang ko kadungog you laug hard. HAHAHAHAHAHA Basin magback out pa dad if ever they face you.
Dad: I laugh hard every day but in my room. Talking in the Air like naa si mommy nimo beside me
Me: aww (smile)
Now we're here at the terrace feeling the air while dad busy. After few minutes he stood up and said " I'll be back before dinner hon, what do you want to do for now?"
Me: Ahmm Can you put me in front of the gate dad? I want to reminiscence outside.
Dad: Are you sure? I put you there but yaya be with you for your safety.
Me: okay dad.
Pag abot namo ddto sa gawas si daddy ni lakaw na and yaya was busy on her work but di sya ka biya nako because of daddy command. But I told her "its okay yaya, I'll be fine here" nag duha² pa sya pero in the end ako ang nasunod, ni sulod nalang sya sa balay para mag tiwas sa iyang gi trabaho sa sulod. While ga relax-relax ko sa gawas I feel someone staring at me pero di nako makita kay buta ko, so I observe nalang through my sense. Wa siguro naka agwanta ni duol nalang sya nako. And talk to me.
Sya: Hi, I'm Christian (not his real name) I'm A boy, I just notice you here so I've approach you.
Wala ko ni lingi niya kay as usual wla ko kahibaw asa sya dapita sa left, right or front nako. Then he just notice nga wala ko ni lingi niya
Sya: hey lingi diri, snob kaba?
Me: Ay sorry, I don't know where are you
Sya: Huh?
Me: I'm blind.
Sya: Oh sorry, here (iya kung gipa lingi dapit nya) You're so beautiful.
Me: Thank you, by the way I'm Jen 14 yr.old
Sya: we're same but I'm turning 15 this year.
Me: Ahh okay, hehehheh ahmm pwede ka nako ma friends? It is long time na wala---- (wala na ko niya gi pa human ug tabi,gi kuha niya akong kamot ug nakipag shake hands)
Sya: Friends.
After ato kanunay nami mag bonding kay si daddy busy na tungod sa event sa company plus the update sa mag donate. Day by day mag bonding mi always ni christian usahay mo adto sa balay, ma shock nalang ko nga naa na sya sulod, wala ba kaha sya nakit an ni yaya. Mag duwa² mi sulod sa kwarto nako kay basin makit an mi ni yaya, then kwento² about future. Sya gusto niya mag Doctor para daw maka help sya sama nako, then ako gusto ko mahimong business woman para maka tabang ko ni daddy. We're happy, wala'y problema gi atubang, perme man pud sya mo duaw nako sa kwarto iyang ingon kay " ni katkat daw sya sa kahoy para maka agi sya sa bintana kay lisod daw if makit an ni yaya basin daw maka sab an sya" HAHAHAHAHAHA
Until one day nabag ohan ko nganong wla na sya'y paramdam, it is almost 1 week na, ni ask ko ni yaya naa ba'y lalaki same age nako mag anhi pero ni response ra syag wla. I felt sad nga kalit ra sya'g way paramamdam, naka hinumdum pako last namong tabi.
Sya: Jen, I don't know what it is but I felt something weird pag past few months pani .
Me: like what?
Sya: I felt my heart beat beating so fast whenever I see you smiling, whenever you call my name.
Me: (Shock) OMG sorry I don't know that also but I've felt like that too.
Sya: You sure?
Me: Yeah
Sya: hmm I find a way to know that thing, we're not a kid anymore but it look like we're inocents HAHHAAHH.
Me: I ask daddy
Sya: update me if what he would say huh?
Me: Yea sure.
Sya: Come here ( gi pa lingkod ko niya sa sofa tupad niya and then gipa lean ang akong head para maka rest ko)
Me: Hmm it feel like good
Sya: Yeah, Daddy and mommy do this whenever they feel like tired so i did this to you. (Smile (gamit sa akong sense naka feel ko nga ni smile sya kaya understand nalang ninyo if i type smile hehehehe), Idk what to say)
Jen?
Me: Yes?
Sya: What if I die?
Me: What you're talking about?
Sya: what if lang eh!
Me: sige what if raman, and then ?
Sya: what do you do?
Me: Crying? I guess, there's nothing to do eh.
Sya: imo nakong kalimtan?
Me: Hmm people know to nove on .
Sya: I feel sad if I die. But I tell you na, whatever happen just DON'T you dare to forget me.
Me: HAHAHHAHA what if I forget you?
Sya: Edi ungoon tika.
Me: edi nindot kay permente ka mo ari diba?
Sya: Hmm
Wla na sya ni tingog pag ana until they fel asleep. Naka mata nalang ko nga wala na sya and my mind tells " basin ni uli nato kay basin makit an niya ni daddy".
As what I've said I ask daddy about my heart beating so fast while staring a boy, then dad said "that's mean you're in love" simple word but it take me a days na magets nako, happy ko nga we both inlove, excited na gani ko nga mag kita mi to tell him that we both inlove despite of our young age pero ni anino ni christian wala'y nagpakita. I've waited for a week that time pero wala jud sya nagpakita. I ask daddy a favor to search that boy, with a malisya smile daddy get the favor but he ask me who he is HAHAHAHHA(chismoso peg.) I response him the truth. Mo lakaw na unta sya pa ingon sa Kusina pero he update me sa donations and he said " sleep early we are going to the hospital early for your treatment" na shock ko kay ugma na, Just wow pila ka years ko nag sig handom nga kanus a ko makakita but now my wish is granted.
Tomorrow morning daddy said while we're going to the hospital " christian ****** is dead last year ago"
Me: No dad, di na tinuod. Naka tabi, na bonding pa gani nako sya months ago then mo balita ka na patay na sya last year? You're kidding.
Dad: No honey, TBH I was happy that you fel inlove but sadly he's dead. I ask my secretary about your favor but he gave me a newspaper.
Me: Newspaper?
Dad: Yeah, he's in the news last year, car accident. Iyang papa ray nabuhi nilang tanan but sadly after few months namatay ra pud because of truama.
Nahugno akong kinabuhi, mao diay to iyang gi ingon nga what if I die, nag what if- what if pa sya pero tinuod diay. At the young age we felt inlove with each other pero in a few months lang. Mura rakog gipa suway niya sa pagka inlove pero pagka hibaw pud niya nga inlove ko niya diha na sya ni give way. Sa dihang naka move on nako ni mommy ni puli na pud sya, mas sakit lang kay wala ko kibaw na ghost na diay to akong nakatabi. Mao diay mo ingon usahay si yaya kinsay katabi nako pero di nako sya tug anan kay basin mo sumbong ni daddy. Mao diay makita nako iyang nawng bisag buta nako kay ghost na diay sya. OH MY God I felt inlove with the ghost. Wala ko sa mood nag pa opera pero na ilisan ug excited akong mood pag ka tang² sa bandage sa akong mata after a week kay makita na nako si daddy, makita na nako sya with a smile.
15 years later.(2016)
I pursue his dream to become a Doctor and now, I finally achieve it. Naka assign ko diri sa Cebu karon (private hospital). Pag ka kita na nako, ako sa sya gikalimtan pero wala nako gikalimtan iyang dream. I focused my study, dad suggested that I should've study at states para dali so I did. And that year I became a professional doctor. And by the way, I already saw the picture of him at the Internet he is really handsome, I could imagine how handsome he is when he was not died and grow like me. Probably girls are drooling while he walk in front of them geez. I miss him so much😥.
While we're talking at the nurse about the patience had a coma, naay lalaki ni approach namo or I say nako kay diri nako ni tan- aw and he said.
Sya: Doc, how's my tita? She is okay now?
Me: (shock cause I notice who is he) CHRISTIAN?
*that was the word came up of my mouth, not answering what his asking.*
No it can be, christian was dead but who's this guy??
Hey reader's sensya na, medyo taas na akong na type hhehee please give me time to type sa sumpay. I've been busy now and the other day. Hope you can wait. Love y"all.
P.S: pasensya na sa wrong word nga nagamit nako and especially sa grammar. If naay mo correction di nako mag english HAHHAAHAHA.
God bless y"all
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