"BITTER SWEET LITTLE SECRET"

" Bitter Sweet Little Secret "

Hi! I'm Kelsie. I met a guy named Polar. And here's our story.

We we're colleagues back then. I was randomly associated by him. He's shy, calm, thoughtful, diligent and very manly. Apparently he's a lot different around me than others. He's energetically goofy, funny, indicent and noisy. We we're inseparable because of our tasks as work-partners. I am a type of person that is super shy and quiet so we barely talk with each other. As time goes by, naka adjust rapud mi sa tagsa'2 nga mga kinaiya. He started talking to me about his life story and vice versa. Tasks were getting more and more easy because we understand and respect each others ideas. From the time nagsugod namig share sa among stories and experiences mas na appreciate nako siya di lang kay kauban nako siya sa trabaho but what and who he is as a person. He's very comfortable to be with. I liked how he protects me from everything. The way he trust and respected me. The way he helped me gain some knowledge about our job is so much appreciated. We shared almost everything. Usahay wala koy sud'an tagaan ko niya with saging pa. Nya ako? Payong rajud akong ma share niya. First share namo sa payong didto murag ni beat akong heart ug kusog and I don't know why. I was so confused kung unsay nafeel nako ato nga time. He was shy and so was I. Magkakuyog ug magkatabi rami kung magsugod namig trabaho pero ug wa nami buhaton mura napud mig dili kaila way tagdanay. On and off kumbaga among relasyon as work-partners. Pero kung kami ra duha diha pami mag storyahay kay sungogon man mis among mga kauban. Ingun ana lang ang daily routine namo sud sa pila ka buwan. The truth is, I like myself more whenever he's around. I even do things I don't normally do. I liked him already. Pero ako rana gitago sa akong kaugalingon kay di ko gusto mo take advantage siya nako. One day nahibulong ko molikay na siya nako. Like always man unta mi mag tabi2 pero nikalit siyag dili na kaayo moduol nako. Hangtod sa wa ko kaagwanta, I asked him whats the reason why all of a sudden kalit siyag likay nako?

He answered..

Polar: Di lang ko ganahan ma issue tang duha. Ingon man gud sila na fall na daw ko nimo.

Me: Pila ramay pag ingon nga wala. Tinuod pud diay?

Polar: Dili man. Di lang jud ko gusto naa silay ikasulti nato. Di man gud ta pwede.

Me: If ever wa koy uyab, possible ba nga magkagusto ka nako?

Polar: Ou oy ideal girl kaayo tika. Kaso naa nalang jud kay tag'iya.

Yes. I am currently in a 6year relationship. I don't blame my heart from beating again. I don't blame my heart from liking someone else.

Me: Sorry for liking you too.

Polar: Really? Okay rman gud. Sayang lang kaayo ba nganong karon pata nagkaila. Nganong wa jud ta magkaila sauna sayu2 pa. 

Me: -_-

After that confession everything seemed so odd. We barely see and talk with each other. But one thing is for sure, we miss each others company. There are lots of things we want to do but chose not to. We knew our limitations. We kept our both feelings lowkey and private. Kanang kahibaw ming duha nga gusto kaayo namo ang usag usa pero gina pugngan lang jud namo kay di mi gusto makasakit ug taw. 

Polar: Dako kaayo kog respeto nimo Kelsie. Dako pud kog respeto sa imong uyab. Pero mas dako kog respeto sa akong kaugalingon. Maibog ko pero di ko mangilog.

Me: I am so proud of you. Thank you for handling this situation very carefully and fairly. But could we allow ourselves to be happy bisan kadiyot lang?

Polar: Of course. Gamay nlang kaayo tag time nga magkita suliton nlang jud nato. 

After that, wala njud nausban among pag storyahay nga kami ra. We almost parted ways but Polar did the thing he wish to do. Ang mo hug nako. Wa siyay laing gipangayo kundi ang mogakos ug magpa picture nako. He hugged me for quite a long time. Kanang hug nga kahibaw kang wala nay ugma ba. First and last hug kumbaga. After that, we finally parted ways. 

I liked him even more for not taking advantage on me. He's gentleman, a deep kind of person. He has a good and pure heart and that's what I like most about him. Bisan bati iyang past, andam kaayo siyang mag usab. Dako jud kaayo siyag respeto nako and I am very thankful for that. 

To like or love someone is never wrong. Controlling your heart hurts even more. Sometimes things just don't work no matter how much you want them to. 

To Polar,

You are my little secret. You're both a challenge and a lesson. We sacrificed our own happiness para wala tay taw maapakan. We were never meant for each other, but I loved every single second that I spent with you. I wish you all the best in life. One day you will find love again, and it will be the love that was made for you. 

- Kelsie"